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nuggitt
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2018 9:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, “What are you doing?” “I’m going to commit suicide,” she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so asks, “Well before you jump, why don’t you give me a kiss?” She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she’s finished, the tough hairy bikers say’s Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That’s a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?” “My parents don’t like me dressing up like a a girl…”
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Bit of advice. Buy a good bed and a good pair of shoes, because if you aren't in one you'll be in the other.
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nuggitt
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2018 9:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, "May I help you?”

The man says, "Yes, I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out the window."

The desk clerk says, "I'm sorry, sir, but that's a personal issue.”
The man replies, "Listen, I can’t get the window open... and that's a maintenance issue."
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Bit of advice. Buy a good bed and a good pair of shoes, because if you aren't in one you'll be in the other.
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nuggitt
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2018 9:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The wedding ceremony came to the point where the Minister asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom.
It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace.
The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child.
She stood up and started walking slowly towards the pastor. The congregation was aghast as the penny dropped.
The Groom’s jaw dropped as he stared disbelievingly at the approaching young woman and child. Chaos ensued.
The bride threw the bouquet in the air and burst out crying. Then the groom's mother fainted.
The Best men started giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation.
The Minister asked the woman, "Can you tell us, why you came forward ? What do you have to say?”
There was absolute silence in the church. The woman replied, "We can't hear at the back."
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Bit of advice. Buy a good bed and a good pair of shoes, because if you aren't in one you'll be in the other.
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