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Bad Day at Black(pool) Rock
by Teego and Tunguska, pictures by various and sundry

As autumn reared its frosty head, Exup1000.co.uk arranged its last group rideout of 2006. Up to Rivington Barn, over to Blackpool for fish and chips, then back through scenic Devil's Bridge before the winter fettling starts. Sounds great, eh? Wish it had all gone to plan...

Blackpool thumbnail Plastic14
Turned out nice again

The day started well, Teego recalls: "Riding from Derby to Buxton in the early morning fog, turning my head all the time to blow the condensation off my visor and wondering if the roads had any grip. Over the Cat and Fiddle on an empty road above the clouds with the sun beginning to warm while plod was still in bed. Perfect."

The first rendezvous is MacDonald's in Whitefield, for coffee and tabs whilst waiting for the rest of the crew to arrive. Then it's off to Rivington Barn, a famed biker meeting point for those from the top end of the map. "We'll soon be out of town and onto the twisties," Teego thought, "Wrong! Town seems to go on forever and someone up there must have the master franchise for Gatso - never seen so many."

Eventually they hit some open country and after some interesting manouevres by whoever's leading they are on the country roads. These are best described as narrow and bumpy as fook, enough to have Teego wishing for a motocrosser.

There is a good scene at Rivington. General discussion about women and how to treat them - mainly under the thumb in Lincolnshire - plus Dave's tales of club racing and how Plastic gave up the dreaded weed but found lager and Jaffa Cakes.

Then out of the mists Zoltan (for it is he) arrives on an Exup that has seen better days - mainly before it was thrown down the road. But no worries he said, there's a Foxeye at home and an OW01 having its flatslides sorted out. He decided to join them for the run to Blackpool.

But wait, what's this? Jase has lost his wallet, probably at Macdonalds. Not much hope there then. Anyway, rather than have to go through the whole hassle of cancelling credit cards etc, Jase decided to scoot back to MacD's to see if he can recover it. Fat chance, they all think. But 45 minutes later, as everyone's starting to suffer terminal boredom, he's back. Bloody hell, he's got a result. Someone handed it in.

So off to Blackpool. Not too much adventure as you've got to get through Preston and the Gatso salesman has been working hard there too. Except Ted has an encounter with stupid bird in a BMW trying to T-bone him as she pulls out of her parking slot. No-one can hear what he says but you wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of his body language. Could this have been an omen?

At last Plastic leads them into Blackpool - or not, as they get well and truly lost in the one way system. Where's the sea? About 100 yards down there. Back on the bikes and 3 miles later we hit the promenade. All except Zoltan, for he has disappeared. Was he ever really there?

Fish and chips are scoffed in the sunshine before everyone goes their different ways. Ted's off home to pack for his holiday and 3am alarm call, Jase back to Wigan, Teego to Derby and the rest to Devil's Bridge - another well-known biker meet.

Devil's Bridge is scenic as ever, but all that fresh sea air has taken its toll and after a short visit the lads elect to head back to Malc's for a cuppa. Leaving the Bridge on the A65, they made progress through the traffic. Malc was leading when he moved to overtake a Volvo which promptly turned right... Malc locks up, the 'Ace spins across the road and deposits him in a heap on the tarmac.

Ow.

The Air Ambulance whisks Malc off to Keighley Hospital with Dave in hot pursuit, reporting back later on a broken collarbone (after a couple of weeks it turns out to be busted in two places and might need pinning), concussion and severe bruising. OW! At the time of writing Malc's recovering well and was back on the forum within 24 hours with his sense of humour completely intact. Whew, a lucky result for our first forum rideout casualty. I know they say chicks dig scars, Malc, but for Pete's sake...!

Post Script: Shortly after the accident, Malc had to move house. Unable to lift anything and still in some discomfort, he posted about his predicament and Exup1000.co.uk rose magnificently to the occasion. It's amazing what grown men will do for a bacon butty. Plodder even became our second forum rideout casualty, after a fashion, slipping on the step at Malc's old house and buggering his ankle! The other casualty of the day was Malc's ex-neighbour's crocuses, but they aren't members here so ner.

You can find all the pics from the day here.

Blackpool thumbnail Plastic10
"Bend ze knees..."

Blackpool thumbnail Plastic17
Fish and chips at the seaside - as British as it gets
Blackpool thumbnail 1
"I'm sure I parked it here."
Blackpool thumbnail 5
The sunny Costa del Lancashire
Blackpool thumbnail 8
The tea-hut's this way, lads!
Blackpool thumbnail Plastic7
The mysterious Zoltan - why aren't you a member yet, mate?
Blackpool thumbnail Plastic8
Rivington Barn
Blackpool thumbnail Aceouch1
Uh-oh...
Blaclpool thumbnail Chopper1
!!!!!!!!!!
Blackpool thumbnail Aceouch1
He lives!
Blackpool thumbnail Pickfords3
Also available for weddings, bar-mitvahs and childrens' parties

Roll-call: Dave 59, Dave's mate Andy, Fzted, Jasegee, Plastic Scouser, Plastic's mate Ade, Teego, Thunderacemalc, Zoltan.

Party Pooper Award: Madame Volvo, thank you very chuffing much!

Exup100.co.uk Removal Crew (for hire by the hour or by the day, reasonable rates): Exup Freak, Nismo, Plodder, Rutz, Stig, Wakwak, Wakwak's missus TJ

Rivington Barn,
Horwich, Nr Bolton, Lancashire.
 Click for map   Link to Streetmap.co.uk

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